Life on life’s terms — I used to think that if I wanted something enough, whined enough, worried enough, that I’d get my way. This was true, in spite of evidence to the contrary as a child, and well into adulthood. Why? Partly it was popular culture. Even before people talked about “manifesting” what they wanted with their minds, music like these lyrics by Glenn Miller told me it was true. My father was a fan of his, so I heard it at a young age. If I wished “long enough, strong enough”, I’d get what I wanted. When I didn’t, this meant I’d failed to do it right, and sometimes I’d redouble my efforts. I’m also a very strong -willed person, stubborn and persevering. These character traits reinforced the push to get my own way. Finally, after years of trying to assert my will over the uncontrollability of life, I heard the term, life on life’s terms. As this idea seeped into my thinking, I started to understand that accepting what is, rather than trying to control what isn’t, meant I’d spend a lot less time spinning my wheels. It meant I’d have to take responsibility for doing what I could about a situation, and letting go of what I couldn’t. So this past week, when life threw family health issues at me, I could call upon “life on life’s terms”, and stay reasonably level through it all. This time, things have worked out, and I didn’t have anything to do with it. It’s not always easy to know what I can or can’t do to influence a situation, but it is a relief to know when I can’t.

Ranunculus, horsetail fern, primroses, hazelnuts and Japanese maple leaves

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