What advice would you have for someone turning 13? My grandson will become a teenager next week, and I’m going to write him a letter to mark the occasion. It makes me think back to being 13. My poor parents — I was a piece of work — smoking, sneaking out, stealing my mom’s station wagon in the middle of the night to go swimming with my girlfriends. He’s not doing those things and has just come through a year of lockdown, only seeing his friends on Zoom, and starting middle school at a new school.
I don’t know that I would have heeded advice from my grandmother. I thought I knew it all. This, combined with not wanting to be told what to do, meant that you couldn’t tell me anything.
One piece of advice that would have served me well would be to take my time making decisions. I didn’t like the anxiety of not knowing, not deciding, so I’d rush to a resolution just to get it over with. Not such a skillful way to live. It led me to big mistakes. I have learned, am still learning, how to sit with uncertainty. I don’t see that he has this tendency, so maybe it wouldn’t be relevant? Will think about it some more.